his kindness

I've always known prayer is where it's at. From a young age it has been my constant friend. It has looked like crying, laughing, watching the stars, reading the Word, coffee shop talks, countless journals, feeding my baby, washing dishes, and hanging out laundry. It changes, but it always is, because He always is. He is kind. This knowledge that I can talk with and listen to the Most High God is kind of a big deal. May I never take it for granted. 

Lately, living this relationship out loud and with others has been what has sustained. I really believe that if we didn't have people praying with us, and our hearts constantly lifting to him, we wouldn't be where we are... still going.. still persevering... constantly seeing him. This doesn't mean we aren't broken. This doesn't mean life is easy, it just means we can keep going. one step at a time. Sometimes just baby steps, but walking towards Him and his kindness.

Our car wouldn't start day 3. Friday was going to try with the newly charged battery. I sat in the hallway crying. Abba, I don't think I can handle it not turning on again. It's too much. Day 10 of 11 with no electricity. Day 2 of no water. Day 3429081092393874293 of him showing up. My heart was peace. It wasn't excited, it was ok. It was ready for the car not to turn on or for it to turn on. Either way, he was near. 

I do know when people are praying. Sometimes, when it gets too hard, I'll message a couple people to pray. It's like a burden lifted. Its like knowing deep in that I'm not alone in talking to Him. It's community. It's the Church. It's His body. We weren't made to lift our hearts up alone. Not everything needs to be for everybody, but what a gift to let people be His together.. to invite others into what he's doing in your life. It's hard. It's not easy to be weak....to not have it all together, but it's worth it. 

I cry after all my phone calls with Marie. "We pray for you guys everyday." it's always said and always makes me cry. What a humbling honor to have others go before the King of kings on our behalf, to build their relationship with Him, so that we can build ours. 

Yes, our truck started. Yes, there's still things wrong with it, ha, always things wrong, but we have continued to be safe and get so many places and so many crazy roads and so many special humans who have helped us. Gosh, if we knew it all, we'd know less people and their crazy awesome gifts and time sacrificed. 

May we continue to cry out. May you continue to cry out. You're not alone. Humble yourself and ask for prayer. Ask others what you can pray for and do it. It's worth it. He's a really big God, and yet He is so intimate and kind.